Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Hey Mrs. V, coach lives next door to a drug dealer.  I think coach might do drugs, so I am going to spy on him.  It's not stalking if I am trying to help him, right?"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy- "I'm going to cut down bushes with a chainsaw."
Girl- "If that's what you do for fun."
Boy-"it's not for fun. I'm getting $50. I would do it naked for $50!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

I feel like a hyphen!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Kool-aid: That's the black national anthem. Oh yeah!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy- "Hey Mrs. What's you and your husband's song?"
Me-"We don't really have one."
Boy-"You don't? just wait until tomorrow. I am going to write you one and you're going to cry."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy 1- "Hey Mrs, V. are we taking chlamydia geometry?"
Me-"Do you mean Euclidean geometry?"
Boy 1- " Yeah that!"
Boy 2- "I would pay attention more if it was chlamydia geometry!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"You lied you said the answer wasn't a fruit or vegetable!  Milk is a vegetable!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy- "I pee in my backyard every morning!"
Me- "What?"
Boy-"yeah, the doors are weird in my bathroom, so it is easier to just go outside!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Jesus was the lead singer in a reggae band.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

My mom has a dead Mexican skeleton in her closet!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Dr. Pepper and Coke are like gold!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Math kills trees.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Hey, Mrs. V, if I was on drugs, you would be part bird.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

I don't want any bootleg turkey bacon!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

I have taken over one period of an elementary class for a teacher who is now only going to sub.  One of the students is quite upset and this was his response:

"If she is going to substitute, why don't we kidnap the other new teacher so Ms. B can come back forever?"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy-"Hey, Mrs. V- do you hear Legend over there?"
Me- "Who?"
Boy-"Coach.  He thinks he's so awesome and can get all the women.  He probably can. He calls himself the Legend."
Me-"This is the first I have heard of this."
Girl-"That man cannot get women! Look at that mess he brought to the dance last year. He can't pick them right, so I have already decided who he is gonna marry. Not the crazy one with the bob, but the pretty one."
Boy 2- "The one from Hooters?"
Boy 1- "Yeah she was hot."
Girl- "I don't know about that, but I've already started planning his wedding."

*I mentioned this to Coach, who is a young single man, but he has no idea who the girl from Hooters is!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Mrs. V, you are so sweet and preppy, and Mr. Villawandaquandre* is so hairy and hood.  He's HAWT!


*This is not our last name, but one of my students refers me as Mrs. Villawandaquandre!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy-"Hey, Mrs. V, your hair is shaped like a square!"
Girl-"No it ain't! It's bumpin'!"