Moving on...

  The thing about being a teacher, especially one at a small private school, is that the students have a very special place in your heart.  I am loathe to say that I feel like their parent, for that is a title that holds greater significance than I could hope to hold in their child's life, but I do feel as if I am an overprotective aunt to them.  I teach them, love them, try to teach them morals and ethics, but send them home to be raised by their real families.

   I love my students, even on days I wish I could strangle them for the poor choices they make.  I see amazing potential in each and every one I meet. I pray for them daily.  I am overjoyed when they graduate, get married, have kids... It is amazing seeing them become "grown-ups" (though many of my high school students would like to argue they already are!)  I hurt for them when they have loss: a parent, a sibling, a friend...and I still grieve the students I've had that have passed on.  I have had days, sitting on the floor of the girls' bathroom listening to students cry and grieve, for they have experienced pains unlike any I ever have; I was their shoulder to cry on, the safe adult to confess things to, the shepherd that lead them to find the help they need....

.....but I am leaving them.  I know for myself, this is where God is leading me and my family.  Moving cross-country is hard for anyone, but for a teacher it makes you feel like you are abandoning your students. I will miss "my kids" more than many people will understand...this school has been my home away from home, my family during the day... I just pray that I have reached them just as they have affected me!

Hey Mrs. V! Strange statements from students- We need to review Geography

Boy- "Mrs. V, if you don't repent, you'll go to Haiti!"
Me- "Do you mean Hades?"
Boy- "No, I mean the place of the Devil...I don't want to get in trouble for cursing."

I write both words on the board.  "Hades is another name for Hell. Haiti is located in the Caribbean. There is a difference."
Girl- "Some people would disagree that there is a difference between Haiti and Hell."

Better late than never

My first day of school outfit- yes, Punky took these photos.  The top is vintage, the skirt is thrifted.  However the sweater was saved from my junk pile with a little good old fashioned rit dye!  It was cream and stained so easily, but now it's a soft fuzzy blue cardi!  Got to love it!

Not a Maternity Dress (anymore)

    Once upon a time, I had a favorite brown dress.  It was soft and comfy, and an absolutely flattering shade of chocolate.  It had one major flaw that ended up making it unbearable-  every time I wore it, someone asked if I was expecting or when I was due.  Now I do understand that before I went gluten free I had a bit of a belly, and knew I looked about 5 months pregnant on a bad day, but I found it completely unacceptable to be asked this on such a regular basis.  Complete strangers, friends, family members- when I wore this dress They all thought I had a bun in the oven!  Not cool.

      Therefore, this dress was thrown into my storage unit never to see the light of day again.  It was to spend it's life in a tortuous existence deprived of food, water, and light (I do realize my clothing is not living, but it's a metaphor, people!)  This was until I went there to drop off work supplies at the beginning of summer (who wants to store notebooks and craft supplies in their hall closet?) and it was peeking out of a box.  I rescued it with the thought of making a dress for one of the girls.  However, when I removed the bodice, the idea of turning it into a skirt came to me.  Though this photo isn't the most flattering (are any pictures taken midday in 90+ degree weather?), the skirt is cute and comfy- everything I had hoped it's previous incarnation was!

Sometimes they just make my brain hurt

I have two female students that I have had for several classes- they are both quite boisterous and often jokingly make fun of each other.  They both feel that one of them has a bigger butt, and the other has bigger breasts- and these often become the focus of their jokes.  This was the most recent debate that occurred for about a week, and it seemed like I was the only one who heard the unintended implication.


"Your booty is the size of Saturn!"
"Well at least my boobs aren't the size of Uranus!"


The frequent back and forth of the "Saturn Butt/ Uranus Boobs" (yes they were calling each other that) lasted for about a week until I finally interrupted the argument in class one day.

"Do you not realize the innuendo of that statement?"
"What's that mean?"
"An innuendo is an unintended statement, usually with a less than wholesome meaning."

One of the girls said it out loud slowly one more time, paused, and her face turned pale.  Then she broke out into an outrageous laughter.  Slowly, a couple other students realized what she had said and joined in.  After explaining it to the first girl, who finally got it in when they said it slowly and with extra emphasis.



I don't know if it is worse that I was the only one who heard what they were saying as raunchy, or that they didn't recognize how their statement sounded.  No one in the school had said anything about it and it was said many times over the course of the week!

Math class quote 9/23

"She's a math teacher- all she likes to do is math."
"Yeah, math is her destiny or something."
"Yeah she's like Pokemon!"

Wine on a Wednesday

   I reached my breaking point today at work...the point where I wanted to slam my head into the wall and just cry out of utter frustration.  I had to explain to a student why I would accept him writing only the answer, but couldn't give him credit if he just wrote the question.  I don't think he was trying to drive me to drink on a weekday, but really truly didn't understand where I was coming from.  I even had done the problem on the board; all he had to do was copy the answer down.  He was driving the other students bonkers, too.

"Mrs. V, this boy is the reason I couldn't be a teacher- I'd want to smack some sense into him!"
"Boy, Mrs. V is being patient with you, but if you don't copy that number off the board and stop irritating us all, I'm gonna pull off this belt and teach you a lesson."


We all made it through the class, and I survived the rest of the day (and no blood was shed by anyone).


I don't know why, but today just made me question everything I have taught so far- whether I am really a "good" teacher.  I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day, and if not, maybe I will just run away and bang my head against the wall!

"Off to Join the Circus" Shoes

Once upon a time, I had a favorite pair of black heels- perfect height, super comfy, and best of all cute!

Problem was, they quickly became my dog's favorites and he chewed on the heel leaving teeth marks all over.  It wasn't so bad that anyone would really notice unless they looked closely, but I teach high school and bored students notice everything!

I couldn't bear to toss them, so I came up with a brilliant plan- decoupage!  I found an awesome paper that featured French circus poster postage stamps at Scraporium (owned my my long-time friend's mom). *squeals with delight*



I think this incarnation of my shoes is even better than the original, but I won't lie- this project took much longer than expected.  I haven't worn them much because there has been awful flooding rain, and I don't want to test the waters (so to speak) yet.

Hey Mrs. V! Strange statements from students- My hair

Hey, Mrs. V, you are a sister now, because I never seen hair like that on a white girl!

Hey Mrs. V! Strange statements from students- catching a fetus

Boy in the class is coughing loudly.
Senior girl behind him: "You better cover your mouth- I don't want to catch a fetus!"
Me: "What? Catch a fetus- honey, have you taken health or Biology yet?  We may need to revisit that class, because that isn't how you 'catch a fetus.'"
Girl: "Fetus, what fetus? I meant fungus!"

She continued to tell the boy every time he coughed that he was spreading his fetus all over the class!

That Honey Do List

If you haven't checked out That Honey-Do List, head on over and check it out!  I was her Honey-Did Brag.  I can't wait to have more projects to share!

Tux Redux

     

Tim and Marvin

 For some strange reason (probably my over-sentimentality) I have the shirt my brother-in-law, Tim wore in my wedding.  I kept coming across the garment, never wearing it, but not being able to get rid of it.

The groomsmen and ushers at my wedding

       So when I found it in the closet the other day (with a strange stain that magically appeared), I decided it needed to earn its keep!  (A hot wash with bleach took out the stain.)

    I tried it on, and it was pretty bad- I mean a men's extra large for a 5-foot-4 woman doesn't really work.  My initial thought was to make a dress  (with ruffles- my wardrobe needs something with ruffles), but I quickly realized any dress I made would be WAY too short for work!  (Yes, I am wearing shorts in the photos below, but they seem to have disappeared because my shirt is so big!)

    Punky was in a "mood" that day and these were the best before pictures I could get.  Oh well, I guess that's what I get for having a 7-year-old photographer!

     Here's the end result:
             I turned it into a more "girly" blouse with hidden darts in the front (under the placket) and more darts in the back.  The skirt was another re-make that had no sentimental reason, I just loved the fabric!  It was a funky just above the ankle, but not quite a maxi skirt length.  My photographer was still grouchy, so I will tolerate these photos.  (Anyone want to volunteer to my free, on demand, photographer?)

PS:  I found some more "hey, Mrs. V's" written in my gradebook from last year.  I'll post some more for back to school fun this week.  I can't believe summer is already over!

That Wedding was BANANAS!

    I know every family has one of those "wacky" relatives, but in my husband's family there are several.  (Un)fortunately, my husband is the wacky ringleader, with his brother following closely behind.  I could tell "Marvin" stories all day, but his most recent shenanigans take the (wedding) cake!

   Our niece recently got married on the same beach where Marvin and I married; it has a big historic fort and is usually pretty quiet.  As you can probably tell, in our family "niece" and "nephew" doesn't necessarily mean child even though I am not-quite-thirty! Our niece grew up more like a cousin to Marvin and they have a very dynamic relationship!

     During the ceremony, several Japanese Destroyers cruised pass, as well as some military helicopters making us question if we were being invaded.  We weren't, haha.
                                                                               
Marvin and his brother also felt it was very important to document the male lifeguard working on the beach.     Because that's the thing everyone wants to remember, right?

                         







     Marvin came prepared to the wedding- not only was the card he picked unusual (it was a get well card that had a scantily clad man who shared the same name as the groom and a very old man), but he brought his banana suit.  Not every woman has a husband who randomly dresses in costume, but I was blessed with such a wonderful man!

     Marvin proceeded to run out to the beach, to tackle the bride who was relaxing (the best part of a beach wedding is the beach reception, right?).  Actually, he skipped part of the way.  Yes, if you were at the beach the other day, my husband was the 7-foot-tall banana with a beard!   Somehow, my husband managed to pull tendons/ligaments in both heels doing this, and ended up unable to walk later that evening.  He couldn't bear any weight on either foot.

    So my husband (who never calls out) stayed home from work.  The reason he had to call out?  He hurt both of his feet dressing up like a banana and tackling the bride on the beach!

Eyebrows of Oz

   My mom and I are very close, and both have an unusual sense of humor.  I went over to her house because they were working on the water main in my neighborhood.

Mom- "Do you pluck your eyebrows?"
Me- "Some, like the stray ones underneath, but I have to use brow powder because they are pretty sparse and I have a bunch of blonde hairs."
Mom- "Well, Dr. Phil says if you put a pencil on your eye, and your eyebrows don't touch, then you have thyroid disease."
Me- "Ok, so you want me to see my doctor and tell her Dr. Phil says it looks like my eyebrows have thyroid disease?"
Mom- "Yeah, sure."
Me- "I don't think Dr. Phil is even a real doctor; I know he's not a medical doctor."
Mom- "Dr. Oz is a real doctor!"
Me- "What does Dr. Oz have to do with Dr. Phil?"
Mom- "Did I say Dr. Phil?"


Later I called her- "Mom, I looked at my eyebrows, they have fine blonde hairs.  So you can tell Dr. Phil that the Wizard of Oz says my eyebrows don't have thyroid disease!"

We both laughed, and I know this story probably won't be funny to anyone except mom and me.

I love you, mom!

Just Rosey

    Another skirt made from mom's fabric (from the width of the material I would guess it was at one time a bed sheet).  It is pretty much a circle skirt modified from a "Retro Butterick" pattern, but due to the layout I cut the skirt as a circle, and split it to add the zipper.  Hemming it took forever but I am so pleased with it.

      This skirt would be a perfect "swing" skirt, if Marvin knew how to swing dance.  I think the idea scares him- I have too many stories of getting "dropped" while dancing!  My favorite story to get him nervous was: one time in high school, I was in musical theatre* practice for Grease, and I was paired with a guy on our high-school football team (he's now in the military, so he's a strong guy).  I was supposed to roll across his back while he was leaning forward, but he lost his balance, so I did a back-flip over his shoulder, landing squarely on my right knee.  It swelled up and turned blue immediately.
 ( I do think that some of the problem may have been I was
 favoring the foot that had an undiagnosed benign tumor in it due to a seashell being stuck inside of it!)

Well, now that I have wandered off on a completely random tangent....I hope you enjoy these poorly exposed photos!

I have an angry three-year-old who doesn't want to take her nap!




*My computer feels I have misspelled theatre, but this is my preferred spelling!

Candy Striped Skirt

    This skirt was nowhere near the headache the last skirt I finished was!  Actually, while the other was sitting in time-out for not cooperating, I finished this skirt with few problems...other than cutting it too short!  But that's what lace trim is for!


I had a friend ask me about the pattern for this one, but I didn't use one.  I used a method similar to this one at MADE.  I am not high-tech enough to do tutorials, yet.  Or maybe I am just not patient enough to take the time and photograph the steps!

I did use exposed elastic on this skirt (and the other one that made me curse like a sailor), because I have a great big roll of red elastic, and I think it looks like a belt, kinda/sorta. But it's so much more comfy than a cinch belt!

These shoes just so happened to go perfectly with this skirt  (I forgot about them when I had Punky take my photo), but they are much more casual of a feel than my wedges.  I love that I have options with this skirt, too!

The Salty Skirt

This project should have been simple. I had a couple yards of striped tube jersey from my mom, and was planning on throwing an elastic band on it and calling it a skirt. Hey, I'd even get a nautical inspired white/red/blue/ black one and a simpler black/white one- two skirts for the price of gas to my parent's house 5 miles away. Heck, you don't even need to hem jersey- easy, peasy, right?

However, the first problem I noticed was that where the tube was joined, it was weak, and the stripes didn't line up right. So I decided to give the skirt a back seam, no big deal. When I cut the fabric, it rolled, badly. It also didn't This made pinning, sewing and lining up stripes difficult. It also mean I had to hem the skirt. Then he hem rolled forward!!!! Much frustration ensued, as well as some salty, nautical inspired language. I threw it down and left it for a week.

Then inspiration hit: I would attach a edge of wide grograin ribbon to the base. I went to the store, and the skies opened up with a torrential thunderstorm, and of course I had the girls with me. By the time we floated home, I pinned the ribbon and started sewing. It seems the ribbon shrunk by several inches, so I had to take the width in, but I got a remnant of fabric out of it to make a headband! I had to topstich the ribbon down to help with the rolling, too.



Then something went wonky with my thread and it kept untwisting while I was sewing, leaving a microfilament holding the fabric together. I've never seen anything like it!


I finally finished the skirt, but I'm not fully happy with it. It lays strangely, it's a weird in-between width, and the ribbon touches my legs whe I walk. I don't know about you, but things touching me unexpectedly are not enjoyable! I am wearing it today to see if it grows on me (emotionally, not physically. A parasitic skirt would be worse than a leg groping one!)

Punky (who just turned 7, remember) took the pictures again. Maybe I need to learn to use my camera's timer?





(This is my pirate pose, because the skirt made me swear like a sailor. I wouldn't last long as a pirate, would I?)

Feeling crafty?

I've been feeling super crafty lately.  I don't know if it's the scorching hot, want to stay inside weather, or the fact that my mom gave me an extraordinarily large amount of craft materials and fabric.  I would guess it it both, but I think the latter effects it more so.  However, this craftiness has brought out this whole retro/ thrift store vibe and I have been finding goodies at thrift stores lately.  My fav finds lately?  A couple vintage dresses, wing-tip pumps, and new lamps!  Ok, so they aren't "new," but they have big, pale blue drum shades that match the end tables downstairs and are taller and put off more light!  Fabulous, right?  I forget where I was going with this, so I will end with a picture of a dress I made with mom's fabric.  I am wearing shoes, and they are cute white flats with teal, orange, and blue pin flowers.  I guess the picture is a little over-exposed.  I need to get my husband up-to-speed with the camera!


Oh yes, see the building behind the lake? One of My husband's best friends and his awesome fiance are moving in (It's great to have a "couple friend" so close)!  We are totally taking the kayak to their place sometime!

Blah...Goodbye, Craft Desk

I was "cleaning"* my room and attempting to move my old desk.  My old desk was going to become my craft desk/ sewing table.  It was nothing special and just your ordinary hand-me down particle board piece of junk.  However, it had shelves on the side and a little cupboard.  It would have been  a nice project!  I guess I will have to use something else and raid my parents' house or plan a trip to IKZEA (totally a typo, but I thought it made me look a little gangster-haha, yeah right!)





*In other words:  moving piles of clutter into new, tidier piles of clutter!

Pretty Little Things that Make Me Happy

Yesterday, rather than doing the housework looming that always follows a birthday party (sidenote: Punky's turning 7- I can't believe it!) , I decided to play with some of the fabric my mother just gave me.  One problem: my sewing machine was in more storage unit, and I did not want to drive all the way over there.

So when I came across this tutorial : No Sew Fabric Flowers, I knew I had to make it for several reasons.  Yes, there was the giant tower of fabric looming in my living room, but I also am in love with flowers for my hair right now.  (I've been doing a retro/ pin-up style thing with my hair lately).

I was going to make one out of a pretty navy blue tone-on-tone fabric, but it was cotton and woven and frays and I was in no mood to look for fray check.  So I pulled out my not-so-secret weapon: synthetic fabric and a candle!  If you dangle the edge of the fabric circle precariously close to the flame of a candle (but not in it...that's how you set the flower on fire!), it will melt all the edges and seal them.  (It also curls up and dissolves/ melts the little loose threads, and reminds me of the Wicked Witch of the East after Dorothy drops a house on her!) 

From there, I pretty much followed the above tutorial, but sometimes added more than the 7 circles- I like things extra poofy sometimes!  I need to go raid my mom's buttons, and then I will probably make more!

Is it terrible that I now want to make outfits to match my accessories?

My crazy little Scout

Last night, Scout was full of craziness and told me or my husband the following tidbits:

"[Punky] was sad when Poppum Dons died.  I was sad when [her 4-year old LIVING aunt] died!"
"I have a great idea!  Let's put honey on my hot dog!"
"I like this juice. It tastes like watermelon...or blood!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Mrs. V, when are the zombies invading?

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Mrs. V, I wouldn't lie to you. Well, I would, but I am not lying now.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

I was at a party this weekend, and there was a guy who showed up who literally stabbed someone to death with an umbrella!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

It's been awhile, but I have been taking note of the crazy things my students say still!


"I have 2 water bottles, and a bagel...if zombies come today, I am set!"


"My back hurts like a gypsy!"

"Hey Mrs. V, You look like you need a cage!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

My brother peed on our cat.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Hey Mrs. V, coach lives next door to a drug dealer.  I think coach might do drugs, so I am going to spy on him.  It's not stalking if I am trying to help him, right?"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy- "I'm going to cut down bushes with a chainsaw."
Girl- "If that's what you do for fun."
Boy-"it's not for fun. I'm getting $50. I would do it naked for $50!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

I feel like a hyphen!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Kool-aid: That's the black national anthem. Oh yeah!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy- "Hey Mrs. What's you and your husband's song?"
Me-"We don't really have one."
Boy-"You don't? just wait until tomorrow. I am going to write you one and you're going to cry."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy 1- "Hey Mrs, V. are we taking chlamydia geometry?"
Me-"Do you mean Euclidean geometry?"
Boy 1- " Yeah that!"
Boy 2- "I would pay attention more if it was chlamydia geometry!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"You lied you said the answer wasn't a fruit or vegetable!  Milk is a vegetable!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy- "I pee in my backyard every morning!"
Me- "What?"
Boy-"yeah, the doors are weird in my bathroom, so it is easier to just go outside!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Jesus was the lead singer in a reggae band.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

My mom has a dead Mexican skeleton in her closet!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Dr. Pepper and Coke are like gold!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Math kills trees.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Hey, Mrs. V, if I was on drugs, you would be part bird.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

I don't want any bootleg turkey bacon!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

I have taken over one period of an elementary class for a teacher who is now only going to sub.  One of the students is quite upset and this was his response:

"If she is going to substitute, why don't we kidnap the other new teacher so Ms. B can come back forever?"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy-"Hey, Mrs. V- do you hear Legend over there?"
Me- "Who?"
Boy-"Coach.  He thinks he's so awesome and can get all the women.  He probably can. He calls himself the Legend."
Me-"This is the first I have heard of this."
Girl-"That man cannot get women! Look at that mess he brought to the dance last year. He can't pick them right, so I have already decided who he is gonna marry. Not the crazy one with the bob, but the pretty one."
Boy 2- "The one from Hooters?"
Boy 1- "Yeah she was hot."
Girl- "I don't know about that, but I've already started planning his wedding."

*I mentioned this to Coach, who is a young single man, but he has no idea who the girl from Hooters is!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Mrs. V, you are so sweet and preppy, and Mr. Villawandaquandre* is so hairy and hood.  He's HAWT!


*This is not our last name, but one of my students refers me as Mrs. Villawandaquandre!

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy-"Hey, Mrs. V, your hair is shaped like a square!"
Girl-"No it ain't! It's bumpin'!"