Time to get rid of the CHAOS

Okay, I have decided that I cannot deal with all the clutter and chaos in my house. I am tired of the piles and bags. I need to empty my life of all this JUNK. So, I am going to keep myself accountable and keep track of my progress.

Celebrating 5 years!

December 29,2002

I'm taking a moment to be selfish....

I rarely ask for anything for me. For Christmas, I told Marvin I wanted silicone cake pans and some more GAP Dream body spray; that adds up to less than $20! I don't know why, but I have no problem spending tons of money on others, but won't buy things for myself.
Yet, I was looking at the Ikea catalog and have made myself a list of all the things I want:

1. SOLSTA sofa bed in dark grey- $129 (It is not available online and is out of stock in Orlando)
2. FUSION dining table and four chairs- $299
3. ANEBODA wardrobe- $79.99 (honestly, I want 3)


There is also some pink and red MAMMUT children's furniture I want to do the girls' room in, but I will probably wait a while for that (it adds up to about $600 for all the pieces I want).


So there is my moment of selfishness. The sad thing is, even in a moment of selfishness, I want to spend almost as much on the girls as I want to spend on myself, and even that doesn't add up to $1300! Some women spend more than that on a purse!

This is my bathroom!

So apparently we had a leaky pipe in the master bathroom.

It didn't really affect us, but it was flooding the people downstairs.


They have cut holes on both sides of the toilet, and under the vanity.

Let's see how long it takes them to fix THIS mess!



Oh and did I mention I came home early from work because I am sick and wanted to nap? Yeah, well that didn't happen.

[venting]

I was going to get off work early today, but made the mistake of checking my e-mail before I left. In my inbox, I had SIX orders to fill (on bids that we placed in October). I had to re-research all of them, and of course, FIVE were not listed in the main public records, so I had to do twice as much research. At work, we have two types of orders as far as I'm concerned: EDI (which drop all the order information automatically), and PDF which I have to type up completely. Of course, these were all PDF and each had four pages to type up! With all the researching, typing, and creating files, I was there another TWO hours! So much for getting off early.

Well, I guess it could have been worse. If I didn't check my e-mail, I would have had to stay two hours late on a Friday.

I'm kind of sad to not use this blog, except for on rare occasion. The nostalgic part of me feels some comfort here in the world of my own creating, yet the vain part of me enjoys how many people read my other one....

[breathe]

Take a moment to breathe, truly breathe. Feel the air surging in; through your nose, down the back of you throat, filling your lungs. Stop everything take a moment, disengage from every little petty thing swirling blindly through your occluded mind. Leave, the world behind for just a moment, eyes closed, thoughts lucid, heart unruffled. Breathe, and for a rare moment you will know that everything will really be okay...

Apology

I don't know if you will ever read this, and you probably won't. I know I handled things poorly, and regret the hurtful things I wrote. It's ironic how people handle pain differently, and though I normally bottle things up, and pretend to ignore the blows to my ego, I retaliated in a horribly bitter manner. I apologize; I now understand I hurt you as much as you hurt me, if not more. I hope one day you can forgive me.

The air here is too thick

One of these days everything will fall into place. My home will be spotless. My bank account will be abundant. My friends and family will all get along. I will be educationally fulfilled.


Right now, I am content to live as I am, comfortably.


Too bad the rest of the world doesn't see things my way....

Musing....

There is something about my life that is beautiful, but disturbing at the same time. It often feels like the life I'm living is a novel, scribed out on the annals of time, screaming for me to turn the page. I don't always like the part the author chooses to have his ingenue portray, but it makes for an intriguing show. Maybe, one day, I will allow my story to be scrawled out on paper for others to peruse, but for now, I am not a public library, nor do I think that time will soon be at hand.

Fuming

Cigarettes are one of the most disgusting inventions throughout all of history.

Everyone who has a television or is capable of reading knows how toxic these little sticks are. If you are an adult, and make a very foolish decision to part take in premature death, that's your choice. However, if you subject a baby to that horrible smoke, I think it should be considered abuse. Have you ever picked up a teeny-tiny baby, and he just reeked of smoke? He can't even sit up, but the stench is so strong that the baby smells like a chain smoker. It just makes me want to scream!

I'm ready...

I think I'm ready to pack up and leave this town, except I'm not.

I kind of think it's like an adhesive bandage, the quicker you remove it, the less it hurts. I'm not really ready, I'd have way too many loose ends to tie up, and not enough money to fund the expedition...

Punky posing

Punky was really into saying cheese and telling Daddy, "take my picture like this!" Most of all, she loved the dogs. By dogs I mean: Wiley (Girly), Roxy (Rock star), Wilbur (Howard), Bandit (Band aid), and Jilly (Chilly). The names in parenthesis are what she called them, and the only one that confuses me a little is Howard...

Pre-party

As some of you know, my aunt and uncle were hosting a graduation party for a friend of a couple of celebrities. In a very twisted strange way, he is related to us through my cousin. That story is so convoluted that it's not worth the time it would take to type. We had to get ready REALLY early so that the house would be clean for all the A-list guests. Marvin was inspired to do a impromptu photoshoot in the basement pub. We had been informed that security would be there and Marv should wear long sleeves; he obliged, but the closest thing to security was my cousin's police-officer boyfriend!

Bones and stones

The only thing Punky REALLY wanted to see was dinosaur bones. She had been talking about it for days before we left. She said she also wanted to see stones, so the Museum of Natural History was perfect for her. Marvin had a good time, too. He got to take his picture in a mine shaft. We left before seeing all the exhibits, because every eight grader in the country was there on a field trip!









Later we went to the old Air and Space Museum, and it was just as crowded. Punky liked the Wright exhibit the best, and tried to climb the fence to look at the cut-out's face. However it seemed just as crowded with field-trippers, and Punky and crew were getting tired so we left before making it to the Native American Museum to see the dress Punky kept telling Marvin she wanted to see. "Dad, I'm looking for this dress, " she would tell him pointing it out in a brochure of the Smithsonian. And he would tell her, "you won't find it in the Air and Space Museum." She was so worn out that she fell asleep as we were walking to it.

Tourist trap

From the steps of the Lincoln Memorial










It was so crowed at the Lincoln Monument, but we, along with every other tourist in America stopped by to see the amazing giant.











Paying our respects
















Good evening, Mr. President.

model shoot

Staring out, towards the Washington Monument reflecting on the Potomic River. Thank you Mr. Jefferson for inspiring such a pensive moment.

The required monument pics

RV

Marvin drove a whole lot, both ways. Day and night, and even in the rain. We survived, but for some reason, the AC was either really cold, or really hot.

Ink-credible news.

For those of you that don't know, I do tattoos. Well not professionally anymore, but when my hands are not so stiff, I can do custom work, no cookie-cutter flash for me. Or I can do really short sessions over a long period of time. Or not.

Save the drama for your momma

Once upon a time, we were a happy little family. We got along for the most part, though we had the standard squabbles. Then the disagreements grew, and I tried to play the part of the mediator. Unfortunately, this couldn't last, and I grew weary of the fights. So I picked sides. I wasn't very diplomatic or polite about it either. Maybe one day we will all make up, but for the sake of everyone's sanity, I'm not about to make any friend requests; I don't want to step on anyone's toes again.

I'm about to go visit my extended family, who has succumbed to a bitter feud; I know there is no way that will be resolved. However, I hope one day we'll all be able to forget the pettiness and all get along.

Skin deep beauty/ the skin I'm in

This is my skin. It has looked like this over a week. My neck and chest is where it is worst, but spreads from my head to my legs. I am NOT contagious. However, I am self-conscious, and have only packed crew-neck shirts for my trip. I hate the medication for it; it burns and makes me faintly smell of sulfur. It has the potential to make my hair fall out, too. The best part of all? Even WITH medication, it may last several months! I sure am lucky!

The District

So, I'm going to be heading up to DC in a few days. I have so much to do still, like buy a suitcase or something. How have I gotten to the ripe old age of 24 without owning a real suitcase? I have a duffle, and a rolling duffle, that are both pretty beaten up. I think I have all of our clothes together though. I think we'll survive, at least I hope we do...

Marvin and Punky are ready to hit all monuments and museums. Punky wants to see dinosaur bones and airplanes. Marvin wants to see airplanes made of dinosaur bones. My brother wants to see all the big monuments; he's not even six, and is obsessed with history. I think we'll see to Punky's and my brother's requests. I want to go down to the Potomic; I'm a little disappointed the cherry blossoms aren't in bloom, but I still think it's beautiful along the river. However what I really am looking forward to is IKEA! For those of you that know me, that's enough said.

M.N.V.

Some days I wonder how I got to where I am today. What series of events decided to fall into place so that my life is what it is now.

Five years ago, I met the man of my dreams, though when I met him, I never knew he would be that man.

What planets aligned themselves in such a way that I would be able to pick him out of all the millions of fish swarming in the sea? I don't know....

.... but I am sure glad they did!

Punky

I love this little girl!
She is the best part of my day!
Don't you forget it!

She's ready for bed and wants me to follow her, so good night.

sudoku

I'm not in a mood for logic right now। The world would be easier if it was, with all of nature compartmentalized in neat little boxes and columns and rows। If only everything was as simple as a sudoku puzzle with one set answer; it may be confusing, but in the end I know I am right or wrong। It's strange, but there is comfort in knowing I am indeed wrong। I hate waiting and not knowing। Yet with all it's simplicity and accuracy, I miss the emotion of illogical, irrational thought। Spontaneity has no place in logic। I feel like throwing away the boxes and rows and columns and being free of the rules। Nonetheless, I will probably continue doing my puzzles and following the rules.