Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Two boys were talking during class, so I walked over and stood between them.

"Hey Mrs. V, we're all talking about different things.  I'm talking about guns and he's talking about leprosy!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Is anyone excited to see Santa? [pauses] He's my dad!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy 1-"Are you proud to be a white kid?"
Boy 2- "I'm not white, I'm Irish!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Hey, Mrs. V, can I go shave?"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Everyone loves my mommy; it's my daddy whose a jerk!" (Spoken by a 10th grade boy)

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"My grandma has fake boobs....and a nose ring."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Hey, Mrs. V! Look, I'm in a tree!"
"No, you are standing behind a bush."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Leprechauns and justice for all! 48 hours only, limited time deal!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

On a quiz, a student wrote, "No my heart doesn't beet because of you."  (Spelling is his)

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"That's kind of stalkerish, but I like it."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Why is this bottle filled with socks?"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy: "I'm Justin Bieber."
Mrs. V: "Good for you.  Want to explain the shorts?"
Boy: "Yes, they are same shorts I have worn for the past 3 days, and no,  I haven't washed them."
Mrs. V: "Okay...."
Boy: "I want to be homeless when I grow up, and I am practicing."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"When I am 45 and I have two kids, I am definitely talking about zombies."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"When they come, I am totally stealing a boat."
"You can't live long enough on a boat to survive a Zombie infestation."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy- "Hey, Mrs. V, will you be my date to homecoming?"
Mrs. V- "No."
Boy- "Man, I just got rejected by a teacher.  It's only illegal if we do something!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"I feel accomplished. My butt stayed off the floor today!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Hey, Mrs. V, sign language would be a lot easier to understand if Deaf people just talked."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Girl- "Mrs. V, Coach may look young, but he's really OLD. He's a lot older than you.  He's like THIRTY-FIVE!"
Mrs. V- "35 isn't that old, my husband is 31."
Girl- "But 35 is SO much older than that!"
Mrs. V- "Only by 4 years."

By the way, Coach is actually 3 years younger than me.

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

We were having a meeting about cheerleading fundraising. Randomly in the middle of the meeting this happened:

Girl 1-"Did you know real boobs float?  So if you are drowning, your boobs will save you!"
Girl 2- "I don't have boobs, but I got enough booty to save you all!  It will just float on up and go BOOP!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Boy 1- "Hey, Mrs. V, what kind of gun do you keep in your car?"
Mrs. V- "Umm, it's a Springfield, but it's not in there now."
Boy 2- "Oh, S!  I think she does have one."
Boy 3- "What size is it; .45, 9..."
Mrs. V-" It's a 9mm."
Boy 1- "So you own a Glock 9?"
Mrs. V-"No. It's a Springfield XD9."
Boy 2- "That's a nice gun!  Do you want to sell it to me?"
Mrs. V- "No."
Boy 2- "That's probably a good idea.  You know THAT would end up on the news!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Cheerleader 1- "Hey, Mrs. V, do you have a big butt?"

Cheerleader 2- " What kind of question is that, of course she has a nice butt."

Cheerleader 1- "It's not like I ever look at it!"

Cheerleader 2- " Have you not heard [boy's name] talking about it?"

Cheerleader 1- "That's right, sorry to tell you this, Mrs. V, but the boys are checking you out all period."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

"Hey, Mrs. V, you know that your daughter has a black girl name, right?  Do you know what that means? She's got no choice but to marry a black man."

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Student starts laughing hysterically, rolling on the floor pounding it with her fists.  She signs the signs for "how many" and "weird" over and over while screaming:

"JELLYFISH SURPRISE!!!!!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Elementary student runs up to me and gives me huge bear hug.

"I'm gonna squeeze you 'till you turn to cheese!"

Hey, Mrs. V! (Strange Statements from Students)

Upon telling a student that he had brought his grade up high enough to exempt:

Student:  "Have I told you I love you, Mrs. V?"  [pauses] "in a non-intimate way of course" [pauses] "unless you want it to be..."

Mrs. V: "No. I'm not interested."

Student gets a very dejected look upon his face, and I go back to teaching.