I guess I am choosing to post this here because it is likely no one will read it, but at the same time I hold a small glimmer of hope that some one will....
My father-in-law is old. Honestly, I'm not quite sure how old he will be on his coming birthday, because my husband lost track. He's somewhere in his seventies, and his health is failing. He lives alone, no longer drives, and honestly seems to like it that way. We don't visit as much as we should, but my husband talks to him fairly regularly. I don't know how long he'll be around because he often refuses to follow his doctor's recommendations. (He is pleasantly stubborn and calls himself a "wretched man.")
My husband has a large family and over the past few years, he has cut many of them out of his life. Many times we were made to feel as if we had to "chose sides," and he finally chose not to side with them. I have chosen to follow his lead, though lately I question whether we should attempt to be more civilized. Honestly, I don't really remember everything that led to where we are today. We have arrangements to avoid them for the past two years or so. I believe that my father-in-law enjoyed having everyone together on holidays; it has been several years since that has happened. All of his local family does see him, but we just spread it out over several separate visits. My husband doesn't feel we need to see family members to have a holiday.
My father-in-law's birthday is approaching, and again we will not be having a get together for him. We'll probably just take him out to dinner....
I have apologized for my part in the feud, and one of his relatives has chosen to "get over it" and we are now "online friends." It's a start, but I'm afraid the family as a whole won't be able to
come together until it's too late.....
1 comment:
First of all, I am certain people read this. I typically read all your blogs and never comment. I know you hate that but I never have anything witty or intelligent to say so I choose not to look like an idiot and just never comment. However, I can completely relate to you on this topic. My family is a huge mess and everyone is fighting about something and everyone else has to choose sides which is completely unfair and leads us to basically never seeing each other. I just don't understand why this is something that is so common amongst families, I would have never thought that when I grew up I would be involved in family fueds but unfortunately, that is the case. I am glad you are doing your part to try and reconcile, I hate to see families so torn apart over nothing, ugh, it just sucks.
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