I absolutely know that I am nowhere near as bad as those people you see on tv. We have no pets, so no worries about becoming the crazy cat lady, nor am I stockpiling rancid food. However, I do know I have way too much clutter, and some of the statements that come out of those people's mouths when I watch them on tv resonate within me.
"When I think about cleaning it up, it just becomes too overwhelming."
"I just don't like stuff being thrown away behind my back. I feel very violated and very serious break of trust if someone does that. That's like doing something to me and I don't like that at all"
" Part of my problem is I did start collecting stuff but I didn't want get rid of it. It's gotten to the point that it's overwhelming just thinking about it."from Hoarders
I have trouble getting rid of "useful" items. The girls have way to many toys and clothes. I have way too many clothes. I never know what to wear. We have more books than a library! I have a storage unit, and probably only know of a dozen things in there that I want and need. I have boxes in the garage at my late father-in-law's house; I know what is in most of them, but honestly this many months later, do I really need it? When I look at everything, I just don't know where to begin! When I see and touch things it brings back memories. I feel guilty getting rid of nice things that people have given me. The last two times we moved, things were not packed well, so I know there are things I want, but just can't find them!
I need someone like the specialists on tv to come in and help me objectively. Someone who isn't going to judge me or act like I am crazy. I can't afford to pay for someone like that, I looked into it, so I just kind of ignore it. My tendencies have put a strain on my marriage in the past; that is why my storage unit exists. My junk lives there so that Marvin can ignore it. I have a private blog that I used to affirm myself on how much I got rid of, but the stuff just seems to multiply! I try to avoid shopping now. I am doing better now, and actually let people come over to my house (because I hide all of my clutter).
I am not trying to make excuses for myself, but my disorganization is where my ADHD manifests itself.
Trying to go through it all alone gives me an anxiety attack.
Just writing this embarrasses me greatly.
I just wish someone would come in and just keep me company and keep me focused so I could help myself.
Books motivate me, but only briefly.
I want to cry.
I am ashamed.
I feel like a failure.
I am crying.
Trying to go through it all alone gives me an anxiety attack.
Just writing this embarrasses me greatly.
I just wish someone would come in and just keep me company and keep me focused so I could help myself.
Books motivate me, but only briefly.
I want to cry.
I am ashamed.
I feel like a failure.
I am crying.
3 comments:
aww Jess ... There is nothing wrong with you, I know how you feel! I hate getting rid of stuff too. Have you contacted Stacy Ramirez from the SPROUTS? She is the owner of "Perfectly Organized" I bet she would give you a great deal! If not, I can come over and borrow Marv's gun to motivate you, lol :)
Jess, I love you tons. I am the same way. If I lived closer I would totally help you. Sometimes you need a friend to sit there with you and help, so they can be the strong one to throw it out for you. I needed that a few times.
I know exactly how you feel!! That show Hoarders always scares the cleaning woman in me to the surface!! I like to tell myself that I am focusing on things that are more important than cleaning. But really, I know I am focusing on things I just like more. lol. If you find any secret motivational, organizational magic, please share it with me! ;)
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